Still the same inside

carlsbad0212-150x150Pacing … that’s what I was doing as I anxiously awaited the arrival of my granddaughters, ages six and eight. Today was the day they would see me for the first time since starting chemo – bald, colorless, skinny, and frail. What would they think? What would they feel? How would they react? What would they say? They had been told of course but hearing and seeing are two entirely different things. Through the door they came, full of life, energy, and exuberance that only children bring. They saw me, they looked, slight hesitation, ever so slight, and then the full tilt run and hug I have grown so accustomed to over the years. Both girls putting one hand on my heart looked me in the eyes and said together, “Still the same inside here, right, Nana?” Yes, girls, still the same inside here. This experience was many years ago but I carry it with me always and reflect on it often. Cancer is a game changer. It can change us physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually, some changes for the better, others not. But the one thing that cancer can not change if we don’t allow it, as my granddaughters so simply pointed out, is our hearts and the love that lies there.  Love for family, friends, and life as we know it. Cancer can affect many things but it can not touch the heart, the very core of who we are. Out of the mouth of babes.

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